


I kissed his hips to find some help (I think you love me too)

by yourelectriclove



Series: thru these tears [1]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fuck buddies with feelings, M/M, Unrequited Love, VERY different from my usual stuff, mentions of smut but like not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 09:52:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18193034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourelectriclove/pseuds/yourelectriclove
Summary: He kisses Isak’s hips, wishing he could paint his love on him like a mural, hoping he finds some revelation in between Isak’s legs, if this is the only way he can have Isak, he’ll have to accept it.





	I kissed his hips to find some help (I think you love me too)

**Author's Note:**

> listening to lany going through some depression hours and missing my boys created this little sad Drabble that I hope you like. 
> 
> Listen to Valentine’s Day whilst reading it you likee

Isak is like a dream, blurry around the edges, picturesque in the most beautiful way, his face set in Even’s mind like the most amazing video replaying over and over. 

Isak is soft, but also hardened, Isak can smile until his cheeks hurt, but he’s also seen Isak cry until his eyes swell and his face reddens, it’s the most horrible heartbreak. 

Isak has showed him the world without even leaving his bedroom, Isak has opened his mind more than any lesson ever could, and showed him how to love so much that he never understood how much your heart could feel for someone, has never been so in love that he’s had butterflies whenever he takes a glance at Isak doing the most mundane things. 

Isak is his world, but he’s barely Isak’s dying star in the sky, one that he doesn’t see until his lights burning out, trillions of miles away. 

They don’t say I love you, he thinks it, thinks it so much that it fills his mind and he has to bite his tongue so he doesn’t blurt it out and god, he could cry.

They don’t kiss much, he wants to, fuck, could Even spend eternity kissing Isak, could happily stay on his bed and kiss him until his lips were sore and he felt faint, everywhere, his lips, his cheeks, his body, he wants to leave marks and bites and reminders, like little notes in Isak’s calendar, so when he sees them he remembers.

He wants to love him, he wants to take care of him in so many more ways than sex, how amazing would it be to just take care of him after a stressful day, to be the arms that Isak falls right into when he needs grounding. 

Why of all the people, did he fall in love with a boy who doesn’t make room in his heart for anyone else? 

It’s the most tragic feeling, it’s like hitting your head off a wall that’s nonexistent, how many nights has Even tossed and turned thinking about this boy and his pink lips and his closed up heart, it hurts to think he doesn’t even cross Isak’s mind, how unfair is it that he can’t sleep thinking about him and Isak can sleep soundly? 

He has stayed up countless nights, thinking of Isak, replaying their moments together like a mantra in his mind, hoping that when he wakes up Isak will mean less to him. 

Why is the only time he has Isak is when Isak wants him, why is he a fool to Isak’s command? 

He kisses Isak’s hips, wishing he could paint his love on him like a mural, hoping he finds some revelation in between Isak’s legs, if this is the only way he can have Isak, he’ll have to accept it. 

He feels like he can feel Isak’s hands in his hair for days afterwards, feels like his heart is crushing his ribcage whenever he sees Isak in the halls, why won’t you look at me? 

Why do you act like I’m nobody yet when we’re alone you treat me like I’m the only person in your life? 

He knows he’s going to stay there, being silently in love and silently pining, watching Isak sleep on his chest and he revels in it for a while, pushing sleep out of his mind to watch over his boy, knowing Isak will leave again once the morning comes and the light starts pouring it through the windows and he realises that he’s done it again, fucked up and stayed, Even probably begged him to, he can’t remember much details apart from the fact that he almost cried when he felt Isak’s lips on his skin. 

“Stay?”

It’s a simple question, but it takes ten minutes for him to actually say it and another minute for Isak to reply and he feels like he’s going to swallow his tongue and sit on his kitchen floor and cry for a while because he’s dumb, he’s dumb and in love with a boy who loves him for a few hours in the dark and then leaves. 

“Okay” 

One word is all it takes for Even to know how to breath again. 

God, I really am going to love you forever, Even can’t help but think as Isak cuddles up to his body, kisses his chest and tells him he better not steal all the blanket this time, he has to laugh or he’ll cry, doesn’t mention that last time Isak had left in the middle of night, doesn’t mention that he beat himself about how he just wasn’t enough, doesn’t mention that Isak has ruined his sleep pattern without even fucking trying.

So he does what his heart tells him to, ignores his mind and the voices of his friends in the back of his head telling him he’s an idiot and a pawn to Isak’s game, a fuck buddy that will never be more than that.

He tucks extra blanket over Isak’s naked body, kisses his head because if he kisses his lips he might just blurt out those three cursed words, rubs his thumb against Isak’s hipbone and watches him sleep, and he lies awake wondering how such a precious boy with an angel face has such a cold heart.

**Author's Note:**

> title from Valentine’s Day by lany leave some feedback because I cry when people actually enjoy my stuff not clickbait


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